10 Suggestions to Engage Your Reluctant Student

College may loom as a scary place, something that has been held over their heads for years as an ultimatum rather than an exciting reward. Ask open questions, allow them to express their feelings, and listen.

Once you understand their hesitation, you can break tasks down into tiny, manageable parts. If their hesitation comes from something deeper, like severe anxiety or depression, arrange for professional support first.

While watching a sporting match or game, ask if they've heard of the competing schools and pull up campus photos together.

Talk about aspects of college you know will draw them in—certain courses they long to take, specialized clubs, or independent living.

Focus on aspects of the undergraduate experience that genuinely draw them in, such as unique student organizations or independence.

Showcase how college is a platform for personal freedom and self-discovery rather than just an extension of high school pressure.

For students stalled by career path confusion, helping them figure out what they like and what they’re suited for can lead to some clarity.

Instead of asking what they want to major in, ask what their favorite classes have been and why, or how they would construct an entire day if given absolute freedom. Remind them that entering college 'Undeclared' is a completely valid choice.

If you know what might motivate your kid, use that—money or video games. Come up with a reward system for academic work.

Tie the process to exploration and experience, not the final achievement. Ask them to put together a resume for a day off, or write a first essay draft for weekend car privileges.

Make some casual college visits starting with those closest to home, like your local state university.

Sign up for the official tour, but spend plenty of time wandering the student union, library, and bookstore to demystify the environment.

Let others share the burden, like independent counselors, high school guidance departments, and college admissions reps.

Put the burden on the colleges to make their pitch. Your teen will often believe outside experts over years of parental advice.

Suggest getting take-out breakfast and talking about college on the way to pick up.

If there is a college near a baseball game or amusement park, visit the campus first and end the day with a fun reward.

Don’t pressure and don’t compare your child to others and what other kids are doing.

Most high school students are willing to discuss options if they know their wishes and goals are taken seriously. Don't panic if they express uncertainty; other valuable paths exist.

Maybe you let them work out the details of their college visit trips and itinerary.

Recognize when they accomplish something independently—like reaching out to an admissions officer—and praise them for taking initiative.